Thanks to John-Paul Kesseler for this write-up for Birmingham Pride 2024, published on Stonewall Day (28th June). Photo set from Pride below the article.

What is Pride?

Pride is marching in a parade, alongside queer friends and allies, hand in hand with your partner, while people of all ages, beliefs, and backgrounds cheer at the spectacle and joy of it all. The message is clear, be yourself, be open, be proud. You are safe and loved.

Pride is walking down that same street days later, hand in hand with your partner, while people of all ages, backgrounds and beliefs pass by with dirty looks, no attempt to disguise the contempt on their face. The message is clear, hide yourself, be quiet, be ashamed. You are not safe or loved.

Pride is sitting with your friends in one spot all day long, drinking and talking and laughing again and again and again. Stories you’ve heard and told a thousand times before are once again shared, the laughter they bring never lessens, the happiness immune from being dulled. Everybody knows they could move, try another bar, see another area, but nobody does. We feel comfort in each other, the security of where we are, surrounded by other queer people, means we just want to stay exactly where we are for as long as we possibly can.

Pride is knowing that exact spot you’ve spent the day in a state of bliss is the same spot where years ago running battles were being held between Pride security and people determined to let it be known they did not want us there. In our streets, in our area, they decided to let us know they wish we did not exist. 

We’re constantly told by some people that Pride is not needed anymore, that we’ve achieved equality. To sit down and shut up and be glad with our lot or risk the wrath of the “silent majority”. Yes, you can have your rights, but stop shoving it down our throats, or we might just take them away.

No longer are these calls exclusively coming from outside the house. A steady rise in anti-queer, heteronormative thinking from within sections of the LGBTQIA+ community has led to calls from some for the “normal” LGB to partition itself away from the rest of the community. They understand and agree with the disgust and distaste at the degeneracy of those who won’t just know what’s good for them and fit in. 

Overwhelmingly white, overwhelmingly male, this group of “the good gays” desperately chase,  beg, for acceptance and kinship from people who deeply despise them. Every minority group in history has had them in their midst, individuals, who through appearance or behaviour, best mimic the oppressing majority, and become to believe this grants them special status or safety.

We should just do what they say and everything will be alright. Follow the rules and get along. Be like them. Look like them. Act like them. Stop making a scene. Fit in, be thankful, don’t stand out. 

Not a chance.

Nobody should have to fit in to be accepted, no group should be told their identity needs to change to be palatable for the majority. It is exactly our difference, our quirks, our *Queerness* that what makes us who we are, that gives us that sixth sense spark (if you know, you know). We should be loud, eccentric, creative, experimental. We should be proud.

That’s one thing Birmingham Pride has excelled at in the past few years. When hardline Islamists were protesting LGBT inclusion on education in the city, local queer Muslims were asked to lead the parade. With trans people under a constant bombardment, themes, parades, colour schemes have been dedicated to putting them front and centre. 

In both instances the message was clear, these are our people. You come for one, you come for us all. You say somebody can’t be Muslim and Queer, yet here they are, loving life, themselves, and their faith. You don’t believe trans people exist, yet here they are, existing. It’s hard to mutter to yourself trans isn’t real when you see them joyously marching past you, laughing, loved, looking fabulous.

More and more we hear the refrain “Just keep it away from the kids”, like being trans or gay was something that bigoted adults can prevent in young people if they only keep the concepts away from them. More and more the highlight of the parade, every single year, are the growing number of outwardly queer young people watching, cheering, being. 

That, more than anything, is what Pride is. It is letting young queer people know that people like them exist. That there is nothing wrong with them. That it is, we promise, going to be alright. It is making sure things are better for those who come next. But only if we continue to stay loud, to continue fighting. We can never be quiet, we can never “fit in”. 

Today is International Pride day and on it we feel comfort in ourselves, as well as remembering with thanks the trailblazers who got us to this point, and remembering those who were prevented from seeing us get here. We acknowledge our privilege while committing to fight for those elsewhere who still face the most awful kinds of repercussions simply for being themselves. 

But that is one day and we should, we need, to feel Proud, to show the world we are unashamed and unrepentant of who we are, every day. 

If you feel able to, if you feel safe to, be the defiance. Wear that item of clothing which is queer coded. Gently stroke your partner’s hand while out for lunch. Put on that pin or wristband showing your support.

Be yourself.

Because that is Pride.